Sunday, January 30, 2011

Lost Lady and my reply copied from the blog: Musings of a Christian Psychologist

Lost Lady
January 29, 2011 at 9:32 pm
Hello to All of you and thanks for your comments and information. It is so helpful to read about what others are going through. I am still trying, after decades and decades, to understand what happened to me. I guess I would like to know if my brain was damaged from birth, or the head injury at age 11, or was my brian changed by all the stress of my family life, molestation by a neighbor, incest, depressed parents, bipolar brother, being gang-raped and beaten at a young age and then having my folks dislike me and blame me for stuff that happened to me and to them. Then, I spent years in a Girl’s Institution that was VERY scary for me. And, of course, all that (and more) was compounded by the confusion of not being accepted by others that I tried to be friends with. (Except the guys, of course, —I was such an easy target. I suppose it was obvious that I was “damaged goods” and would believe any lie that I thought might get me some affection, —and PROTECTION.)
So, I have muddled through this rather long life and usually figured out how to cover up and do “the Look-Good.” But, not being myself, –not being able to tell the truth, has cost a lot. Of course, I was stupid about it for a long time, and didn’t let people get to know me much before testing the waters. But when I accepted Christ as Savior a long time ago I thought church would be a safe place to be myself. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch! I kept thinking I just had not found a real Christian group yet, and I looked, and looked, and joined a Christian Cult (When the leader died they expected him to be raised after 3 days. Whoooo, boy!) Then, I took my two little kids to a Christian commune, where they both got molested, –One by the guy in charge. And to show I’m not quite right, I guess, I am still wanting for God to arrange that somebody from there would apologize to me for their sin and stupidity. Sometimes, I just don’t know how to believe in God. That commune was kind of the closest I came to a family.
I know I have such a ways to go, if I live that long. I am in counseling, AGAIN, for about the 15th time, with a Christian guy who has experienced severe grief in his own life. And I found an odd, old Psychiatrist, who listened when I told him how EXTREMELY sensitive to meds I am. (I have tried just about all of them, for depression and anxiety, and then I have to find something to keep me from ramping up and not sleeping. YES, I have asked many docs over and over again if I could be bi-polar and the answer has always been no.)
Anyway, this guy has put me one an interesting dose: smash us two 10 mg. Prozac and add to a quart of some acid-based liquid, such as apple juice , and take ONE TEASPOON per day. I wonder if he is conning me and if I tell him it has helped he will just write me off. Well, it did seem to help me from sliding down into the Black Hole, but after 6 weeks or so I could feel the bad stuff coming on, so I added some L-Tryptophan, 500 mg., broken in 2 or 3 pieces and took one piece every day or so. It kept me from going under, I think. I’ve been feeling more and more that the Self I’ve kept hidden for all these decades is trying to escape to the open and I’m saying some things that are making other people uncomfortable, like, “Excuse me, I’ve been at this job for 10 years and you are not giving me the same raise everyone else got?” (They’ve tolerated my slight oddness all this time, I think, because I come when needed.) Now, I just want to get on—-get on with whatever! God just couldn’t have put me here to suffer and question and hide. I don’t even have the “Look Good” anymore ’cause I’m too dang old! Ha! Serves me right. I depended on that way too long. Now, I just want to be real. I just want to really know that God cares, –that it’s not too late for me to be ME, whatever that is. Hey, I’ve never said so much in one place in my life, except in counseling, so I hope somebody just can say, “Hey, I heard ya,” or “Keep Asking, Seeking, Knocking and even if there is no answer this side of Heaven you will end up with a good Relationship with the Best Man in the whole universe.” One really good days, I believe and perceive that to be the Truth, but on bad days, and there are too many, I am so tired that I just want to be done. Sounds like there are a lot of you out there that feel that way. I wish I could just bust out with a smile and show up at Salvation Army dining room and say, “Here I am, all ready to help! I got an MI, but I promise not to let it spill over here.” Well, that just ain’t happening. So, do I need another med to make me calm enough, (or zoned enough) to volunteer or try to get involved in church? I don’t even want to go there right now. Thanks for listening….
Lost ( and trying to find )Lady.

Reply
Richard
January 29, 2011 at 11:35 pm
I hear you. I had a breakdown in my last year of university back in 1978 and have been on and off medications ever since. I took myself off cymbalta last month, with my doctors awareness and agreement, and have since received a great healing. While I agree that meds are often necessary, they often only mask symptoms and can act to prevent us from dealing with underlying issues, whether physical, psychological or spiritual. But my truly deep healing came through the ministry of a Family Foundations Ancient Paths seminar which I took last weekend near Collingwood, Ontario. I’ve also struggled for many years to understand what happened to me and whether the Christian church contributed to my problems or aided in my healing. The seminars really do help sort some of these things out, explaining that negative consequences always result from our disobedience toward God. See Jeremiah ch 6, verses 13-16. I’ve concluded it was a bit of both. I felt as though the church had led me up a slippery hill to Jesus and left me three feet short, deserting me for a time when I went to the Psych hospital. I was free to sing hymns in the hospital hallways and received some teaching on Holy Spirit in the 80s. I went from valley to mountaintop to valley to mountaintop to valley to mountaintop to valley …etc. I spent a total of seven and a half months in hospital followed by a year and a half in ‘Rehab’ all the time attending church as I was able. I went for training and got work as a layman looking after seniors and am currently working with marginalised men in Toronto. It bothers me that we are still not given sufficient time to tell our stories in our Christian communities but it’s important to keep asking and take whatever opportunities for talking or helping come up. Ancient Paths seminars worked, for me, because there’s a powerful combination of teaching and small group ministry done by trained, compassionate, spiritually prepared and empowered individuals in a two or three day retreat setting. Also in Toronto this week I attended portions of a 24 hour soaking worship session which God had orchestrated for just the right time for me. Church is strange. Preaching can be sound and encouraging but the next day it seems the application of what we hear is optional or in fact completely forgotten. My struggle has been particularly concerned with music and praise. I was always into math and physics. The Bible places importance on the person but the church makes man’s creation more important than he is. Look at how singers, even choirs, are not often really allowed to lead worship. Everything is ruled by the musical instruments, yes even when the instrumentalist is at work. Vocalists, indeed all Christians, must reclaim their duty to speak in their churches and to sing their own songs. James said that any who are merry should be allowed to sing praises to God and that those who are sick should call for elders to come and pray for their health. When we are not allowed to testify to God’s grace even when we are well, frustration must result. Call your leaders to account. It’s not a matter of rights but rather the health of the whole community for when one suffers all suffer. We have seen too often how this truth has consequences through the evil acts of disturbed individuals in various parts of the earth. Take courage; be bold; don’t wait to be asked or invited to do what you know God wants you to do, whatever that might be as long as its in line with the highest purposes revealed in the Scriptures. Most importantly ask God yourself for your healing and get someone you trust to agree with you in prayer. God is good and faithful and WILL give you the desire of your heart as you delight in Him, whether you’re passing through trials or joys. Seek the ancient paths; seek the Lord’s blessing and don’t give up until you get it. Perseverance does build character. Hallelujah !

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Lyrics for G. F. Handel's Sacred Oratorio: The Messiah

Here is the full text of Handel's Messiah.

*PART I*

OVERTURE

RECITATIVE. (Accompanied - Tenor)
Comfort ye, comfort ye My people, saith your God; speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem; and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned. The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness:-Prepare ye the way of the Lord: make straight in the desert a highway for our God.

AIR (Tenor)
Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill made low, the crooked straight and the rough places plain.

CHORUS
And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together; for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

RECITATIVE. (Accompanied - Bass)
Thus saith the Lord of Hosts:-Yet once a little while and I will shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land; and I will shake all nations; and the desire of all nations shall come. The Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to His temple, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, He shall come, saith the Lord of Hosts.

AIR (Bass)
But who may abide the day of His coming? and who shall stand when He
appeareth? For He is like a refiner's fire.

CHORUS
And He shall purify the sons of Levi, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness.

RECITATIVE. (Alto)
Behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call his name Emmanuel, God with us.

AIR (Alto)
and CHORUS
O thou that tellest good tidings to Zion, get thee up into the high mountain: O thou that tellest good tidings to Jerusalem, lift up thy voice with strength; lift it up, be not afraid; say unto the cities of Judah, Behold your God! Arise, shine, for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee.

RECITATIVE. (Accompanied - Bass)
For Behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people; but the Lord shall rise upon thee, and His glory shall be seen upon thee, and the Gentiles shall come to thy light, and kings to the brightness of thy rising.

AIR (Bass)
The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light; and they
that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.

CHORUS
For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given, and the government shall be upon His shoulder; and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

PASTORAL SYMPHONY

RECITATIVE. (Soprano)
There were shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

RECITATIVE. (Accompanied - Soprano)
And lo! the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid.

RECITATIVE. (Soprano)
And the angel said unto the, Fear not; for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people; for unto you is born this day in the City of David, a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

RECITATIVE. (Accompanied - Soprano)
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying:-

CHORUS
Glory to God in the highest, and peace on earth, goodwill towards men.

AIR. (Soprano)
Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion Shout, O daughter of Jerusalem! behold, thy King cometh unto thee! He is the righteous Saviour, and He shall speak peace unto the heathen.

RECITATIVE. (Alto)
Then shall the eyes of the blind be opened, and the ears of the deaf unstopped; then shall the lame man leap as a hart, and the tongue of the dumb shall sing.

AIR (Alto)
He shall feed His flock like a shepherd: and He shall gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.

AIR (Alto)
Come unto Him, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and He will give you rest. Take His yoke upon you, and learn of Him, for He is meek and lowly of heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

CHORUS
His yoke is easy and His burthen is light.


*PART II*

CHORUS
Behold the Lamb of God that taketh away the sin of the world.

AIR (Alto)
He was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. He gave His back to the smiters, and His cheeks to them that plucked off the hair: He hid not His face from shame and spitting.

CHORUS
Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows! He was wounded for our transgressions; He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him. And with His stripes we are healed.

CHORUS
All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way. And the Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity of us all.

RECITATIVE. (Accompanied - Tenor)
Thy rebuke hath broken His heart; He is full of heaviness. He looked for some to have pity on Him, but there was no man, neither found He any to comfort Him.

AIR. (Tenor)
Behold, and see if there be any sorrow like unto His sorrow.

RECITATIVE. (Accompanied - Soprano)
He was cut off out of the land of the living; for the transgression of Thy people was He stricken.

AIR (Soprano)
But Thou didst not leave His soul in hell; nor didst Thou suffer Thy Holy One to see corruption.

CHORUS
Lift up your heads, O ye gates, and be ye lifted up, ye everlasting doors, and the King of Glory shall come in. Who is the King of Glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. Lift up your heads, O ye gates, and be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors, and the King of Glory shall come in. Who is the King of Glory? The Lord of Hosts, He is the King of Glory.

RECITATIVE. (Tenor)
Unto which of the angels said He at any time, Thou art My Son, this day have I begotten Thee?

CHORUS
Let all the angels of God worship Him.

AIR. (Bass)
Thou art gone up on high; Thou hast led captivity captive, and received gifts for men, yea, even for Thine enemies, that the Lord God might dwell among them.

CHORUS
The Lord gave the word, great was the company of the preachers.

AIR. (Soprano)
How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things.

CHORUS
Their sound is gone out into all lands, and their words unto the ends of the world.

AIR (Bass)
Why do the nations so furiously rage together, and why do the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth rise up, and the rulers take counsel together against the Lord, and against His Anointed.

CHORUS
Let us break their bonds asunder, and cast away their yokes from us.

RECITATIVE (Tenor)
He that dwelleth in heaven shall laugh them to scorn; the Lord shall have them in derision.

AIR (Tenor)
Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; Thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.

CHORUS
Hallelujah: for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth. The kingdom of this world has become the kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ; and He shall reign for ever and ever. King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. Hallelujah!


*Part III*

AIR (Soprano)
I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that He shall stand at the latter day upon the earth; and though worms destroy this body yet, in my flesh shall I see God. For now is Christ risen from the dead, the first-fruits of them that sleep.

CHORUS
Since by man came death,

CHORUS
By man came also the resurrection of the dead.

CHORUS
For as in Adam all die,

CHORUS
Even so in Christ shall all be made alive

RECITATIVE. (Accompanied - Bass)
Behold, I tell you a mystery; We shall not all sleep; but we shall all be changed in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet.

AIR. (Bass)
The trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.

RECITATIVE (Alto)
Then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written; Death is swallowed up in victory!

DUET (Alto and Tenor)
O death, where is thy sting? O grave! where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law.

CHORUS
But thanks be to God, who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

AIR (Soprano)
If God be for us, who can be against us? who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth, who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea, rather that is risen again, who is at the right hand of God, who makes intercession for us.

CHORUS
Worthy is the Lamb that was slain, and hath redeemed us to God by His blood, to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory and blessing. Blessing and honour, glory and power, be unto Him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb, for ever and ever.
__ Amen.

This blogger's comment: And I say Hallelujah, Praise the Lord! Jesus is truly Risen from the dead!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A Word From reflectionsdeep.blogspot.com

- It Doesn't Fit our isms

(posted on Friday, October 22, 2010)

“That little thing says it is one of us,” said the regal rooster, looking down his beak at the little thing.

“One of us?” said the fat hen in her high-pitched tremor. “CLUCK, cluck, no, no, no…I don’t think so.”

“It doesn’t look like one of us!” sniffed the Banty with her beak in the air.

“It doesn’t act like one of us!” clucked the fat hen, shaking her oh so lovely comb in disapproval. “No, indeed, it doesn’t think like us either. CLUCK, cluck, no, no, no.”

“What to do? What to do?” bemoaned the Banty, nervously twitching her feathers. “How can we let that silly thing in the hen house?”
“We can’t,” answered the rooster, lifting its royal brow, “it doesn’t fit our –isms. It’s rebellious.”

“It doesn’t fit my Catholic-ism,” said the fat hen.
“Ack! And certainly not my pentacostal-ism,” said the Banty.
“Or my conservative protestant-ism,” the rooster said with scorn.

“I don’t think it follows any –ism at all! Ack!” shrieked the Banty. “What to do? What to do?”

“It’s such a simple little thing,” laughed the fat hen. “It says it doesn’t need an –ism. Imagine that! How impertinent!”

And they clucked and gaggled and gossiped and groaned about the little thing that said it followed HIM but with a freedom that was impertinent (said the fat hen!), and with a joy that was silly (said the Banty!), and with a uniqueness that was rebellious (said the rooster!) . . . and He who made the little thing smiled at it and told it to follow Him as they pushed it out of the hen house.

Judy Collins - Turn, Turn, Turn

The words of this song still have power to move us.
Judy Collins - a woman with a wondrous voice.